In our shepherd group we are finishing up a study of Ephesians. Last week instead of focusing on the relationship between parents and children (which we kind of felt we had down) we chose to focus on the "master/servant" relationship, i.e. boss/employee in modern times. I'm lucky in that I have a really excellent and noble reason for going to work. More than bringing in a little extra money for the family, I honestly feel like I am working in a place where my passion and gift from God (helping people) intersects with God's need for me (to help people). Even though I don't love waking up early, I never feel like I am dreading work like I have in past jobs. I love going to work. When I get in an elevator, half the time I am grinning like a fool because I enjoy working with my patients just that much. I have to perform unpleasant tasks, and deal with some cranky people, but it generally just doesn't bother me. I acknowledge that this is pretty awesome. Because my motivation for working is noble, it really bothers me that I don't treat my boss with the utmost respect when she isn't around. She is new, and it is taking a while for her to get the hang of the job. And that bothers me. I like her, she's dry, but I'm ok with that. But I've noticed I have a tendency to... complain (thanks to Renee for making me super aware of complaining!) about her when I am on breaks or at home. I am perfectly respectful to her face... ordinarily.
Today, I had a moment. In my frustration over my lack of hours, I addressed her in a tone that I do not consider respectful. It was not particularly mean, but it was a little rude and abrupt, and that's not being an employee who obeys as they would Christ. It's not just the act of obeying, it's the heart attitude that goes along with it. And my heart attitude kind of stunk today.
Apologies are in order.