I suck at life right now. I'm a horrible homemaker, and mother and wife right now. My house is ridiculously messy. Not just a little messy, or "gosh it looks like a bomb went off in here", but horrific. When my older sister told me her house was a wreck when I went there last week I was expecting something awful, but it looked as good as my house could look if I cleaned non stop for months. My messy and your messy is probably very different. And I don't like living this way. I want to give up, run away, and hide.
That is all.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
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I am a girl of the digital age. I know this. Sometimes it comes in handy for work, or whatever little computer thing comes up, but today is one of those days that I am very aware of how digital my life is.
Today I downloaded 17 books for my Kindle. Ranging from fluffy romance novels, to non-fiction discussions on Christian nursing, to a Bible with concordance that may come in handy. All of them were free. This, I love. Days of reading on the Kindle for FREE! The great thing about the Kindle is it will read the book out loud in an amusing robot voice, which I plug into the car stereo while I am driving. Romance novels are a good length and style for this because they suck you right in.
But in addition to this, I also downloaded 14 sermons just from my church. It occurs to me I need to get my ipod over to my desk so I can charge and refresh it's contents. Perhaps tomorrow.
With all of the gadgetry, including my cell phone and such there never seem to be enough outlets. Oh sure the house has enough (except at Christmas) but never right by the door where my "charge it where you see it near your purse or you will have a well charged cell phone on a useless shelf at home just when you need it" philosophy plays out.
Today I downloaded 17 books for my Kindle. Ranging from fluffy romance novels, to non-fiction discussions on Christian nursing, to a Bible with concordance that may come in handy. All of them were free. This, I love. Days of reading on the Kindle for FREE! The great thing about the Kindle is it will read the book out loud in an amusing robot voice, which I plug into the car stereo while I am driving. Romance novels are a good length and style for this because they suck you right in.
But in addition to this, I also downloaded 14 sermons just from my church. It occurs to me I need to get my ipod over to my desk so I can charge and refresh it's contents. Perhaps tomorrow.
With all of the gadgetry, including my cell phone and such there never seem to be enough outlets. Oh sure the house has enough (except at Christmas) but never right by the door where my "charge it where you see it near your purse or you will have a well charged cell phone on a useless shelf at home just when you need it" philosophy plays out.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
My favorite patient died today
Free of her body
and mind plagued by a disease
dancing with Jesus.
I'll miss you beautiful lady. Your wonderful and gentle spirit made me smile every day.
and mind plagued by a disease
dancing with Jesus.
I'll miss you beautiful lady. Your wonderful and gentle spirit made me smile every day.
Seven Quick Takes
~1~
My laptop is broken. It always ran hot, and eventually the video card went kaput. It was just out of warranty when it happened, and even though it is an HP defect they won't replace it. Do until Kim gets the replacement part (which will also eventually overheat and go kaput due to the defect) I am using the desktop in the dining room. Which is why I haven't been posting as much. This chair is very uncomfortable. Maybe I should recover them and put in some extra foam. My mom did that when we lived in Connecticut and it made a huge difference. Anyhow, I miss my laptop... a lot.2.
Julia has an admirer. And I found a note form him in her back pack mentioning dating. I do not like this. Problem is he is her only friend. What is a mom supposed to do? ack!3.
We had Joe's parent/teacher conference this past week. he is doing well in school and his teacher thinks he is funny, smart, and delightful. I'm good with that. His only issue is that he reverses some things, but it's his idiosyncracy and we don't even notice it anymore. We are trying to notice now and make an effort for him to correct things like "I can have water?" into "Can I have water?". It'll work out. 4.
I need to give Kim a haircut. He looks shaggy and I've been in such bad shape I haven't done it. He always looks so handsome when I am done.5.
Trying to get back on track with weight loss. Halloween candy is not helping the cause. The Wii Fit Plus is helping a little, but it's hard to get time on the games when the kids are playing. lol6.
Speaking of Halloween:
7.
Am motivated to clean to get ready for Christmas decos! The problem is, no one else cares.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Lately I haven't been worth CZ.
I've been in pain. Lots of pain. Actually I've been in pain most of the time since I was 13. But I did go through a really good stretch there for a while. So good, in fact, that I thought I could stop taking my medications when they ran out and be ok. I was not ok. The fatigue came back first, then each day my pain would be worse. By last Saturday I was lying on a ball on the couch with a brain splitting migraine, and muscle spasms all over. (Oh I just kind of sounded like Mrs. Bennett.) I went to see the rhumatologist on Monday, who rightly chastised me for not coming in earlier. What can I say? I was busy and I was feeling good.
This is going to take some time to recover from. When I take my meds, they aren't a magic pill that instantly makes me feel better. They have to work up levels in my system. Although the meds that help me sleep have done amazing things to help with my general pain level and sleepiness. I've been sleeping like a baby and that is the most important thing. Also exercise. I walk a lot at work, and I think that was one of the things that helped me feel so good for the past few months. Losing some weight didn't hurt either. But before I can step up the exercise again, I have got to get these daily migraines to go away.
Speaking of exercise, I want to get an accessory kit for the Wii Fit that makes the balance board a little higher so the step aerobics will be more challenging. They also have a new Fit Plus game that I might ask for as a Christmas gift. Just to change things up a bit. I wish I could be a morning person and get up to exercise then, but I value my evening time with Kim too much, and I would be forced to go to sleep quite early if I wanted to get up to exercise. So instead I try to do it when I get home from work. This does not always go well. I'm usually tired, but I just need to give myself a kick in the pants.
Before you read this next part of my post, go read the "Spoon Theory" at this link:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/
It is very hard to function as a wife and mother and employee with limited spoons. Most days I have a moderate amount of spoons, but then I give so many away at work. Climb these stairs, lift this paitient, bend over to change those sheets, turn this patient, help that patient with thier shoes... It all seems so basic and easy, but each task I do in my day takes something out of me. By the time I get home, I am lucky if I don't have a migraine (which is like a spoon buster), and can think of something to cook for dinner, let alone clean, do laundry, unload the dishes, change sheets on a bunkbed, etc. It makes me feel like a bad wife. I love my job, it's very fulfilling, but it takes a lot of my spoons away from my home life. The house is a wreck, I haven't even bought pumpkins to carve (the thought of carving pumpkins is exhausting), or decorated for Halloween. I do get points for sewing Julia's costume, zipper included. That's right, I sewed a zipper. Bask in my awesomeness. Go on, bask. Ok that's done. I still need to make the bonnet, but I can bust that out during commercials. After a week of work, when I should be figuring out how to get the house clean, I am thinking of how easy I can possibly take it while sewing the finishing touches on my kid's costume. Sounds wrong, right? But kiddos, I only have a few spoons left, and I borrowed against my spoons for the past week to make life happen. So tonight, after dinner is done, I veg. Veg as much as possible.
This is going to take some time to recover from. When I take my meds, they aren't a magic pill that instantly makes me feel better. They have to work up levels in my system. Although the meds that help me sleep have done amazing things to help with my general pain level and sleepiness. I've been sleeping like a baby and that is the most important thing. Also exercise. I walk a lot at work, and I think that was one of the things that helped me feel so good for the past few months. Losing some weight didn't hurt either. But before I can step up the exercise again, I have got to get these daily migraines to go away.
Speaking of exercise, I want to get an accessory kit for the Wii Fit that makes the balance board a little higher so the step aerobics will be more challenging. They also have a new Fit Plus game that I might ask for as a Christmas gift. Just to change things up a bit. I wish I could be a morning person and get up to exercise then, but I value my evening time with Kim too much, and I would be forced to go to sleep quite early if I wanted to get up to exercise. So instead I try to do it when I get home from work. This does not always go well. I'm usually tired, but I just need to give myself a kick in the pants.
Before you read this next part of my post, go read the "Spoon Theory" at this link:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/
It is very hard to function as a wife and mother and employee with limited spoons. Most days I have a moderate amount of spoons, but then I give so many away at work. Climb these stairs, lift this paitient, bend over to change those sheets, turn this patient, help that patient with thier shoes... It all seems so basic and easy, but each task I do in my day takes something out of me. By the time I get home, I am lucky if I don't have a migraine (which is like a spoon buster), and can think of something to cook for dinner, let alone clean, do laundry, unload the dishes, change sheets on a bunkbed, etc. It makes me feel like a bad wife. I love my job, it's very fulfilling, but it takes a lot of my spoons away from my home life. The house is a wreck, I haven't even bought pumpkins to carve (the thought of carving pumpkins is exhausting), or decorated for Halloween. I do get points for sewing Julia's costume, zipper included. That's right, I sewed a zipper. Bask in my awesomeness. Go on, bask. Ok that's done. I still need to make the bonnet, but I can bust that out during commercials. After a week of work, when I should be figuring out how to get the house clean, I am thinking of how easy I can possibly take it while sewing the finishing touches on my kid's costume. Sounds wrong, right? But kiddos, I only have a few spoons left, and I borrowed against my spoons for the past week to make life happen. So tonight, after dinner is done, I veg. Veg as much as possible.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Ok, I feel alot better.
Kitchen clean. Spaghetti made. Kitchen cleaned after dinner. Dinner made for Leighann. Kitchen cleaned. Coffee cake made. Kitchen cleaned.
The house is still a wreck, but a bit better, and cooking always makes me feel so on the ball.
The house is still a wreck, but a bit better, and cooking always makes me feel so on the ball.
I am a slacker.
I haven't been a particularly productive wife or mother these days. The house is a wreck, I'm so disorganized and I don't feel good about it.
This morning I woke up and cleaned the kitchen, and started on spaghetti sauce for tonight. My house smells delightful as a result. Otherwise, I've been slacktastic. I've been reading Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl these days and it's making me feel very bad. I have not been making the home a priority lately and I need to get going on that. Tonight while Kim is a a soccer game, I am going to get cracking.
This morning I woke up and cleaned the kitchen, and started on spaghetti sauce for tonight. My house smells delightful as a result. Otherwise, I've been slacktastic. I've been reading Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl these days and it's making me feel very bad. I have not been making the home a priority lately and I need to get going on that. Tonight while Kim is a a soccer game, I am going to get cracking.
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