Lately I haven't been worth CZ.

I've been in pain. Lots of pain. Actually I've been in pain most of the time since I was 13. But I did go through a really good stretch there for a while. So good, in fact, that I thought I could stop taking my medications when they ran out and be ok. I was not ok. The fatigue came back first, then each day my pain would be worse. By last Saturday I was lying on a ball on the couch with a brain splitting migraine, and muscle spasms all over. (Oh I just kind of sounded like Mrs. Bennett.) I went to see the rhumatologist on Monday, who rightly chastised me for not coming in earlier. What can I say? I was busy and I was feeling good.

This is going to take some time to recover from. When I take my meds, they aren't a magic pill that instantly makes me feel better. They have to work up levels in my system. Although the meds that help me sleep have done amazing things to help with my general pain level and sleepiness. I've been sleeping like a baby and that is the most important thing. Also exercise. I walk a lot at work, and I think that was one of the things that helped me feel so good for the past few months. Losing some weight didn't hurt either. But before I can step up the exercise again, I have got to get these daily migraines to go away.

Speaking of exercise, I want to get an accessory kit for the Wii Fit that makes the balance board a little higher so the step aerobics will be more challenging. They also have a new Fit Plus game that I might ask for as a Christmas gift. Just to change things up a bit. I wish I could be a morning person and get up to exercise then, but I value my evening time with Kim too much, and I would be forced to go to sleep quite early if I wanted to get up to exercise. So instead I try to do it when I get home from work. This does not always go well. I'm usually tired, but I just need to give myself a kick in the pants.

Before you read this next part of my post, go read the "Spoon Theory" at this link:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/

It is very hard to function as a wife and mother and employee with limited spoons. Most days I have a moderate amount of spoons, but then I give so many away at work. Climb these stairs, lift this paitient, bend over to change those sheets, turn this patient, help that patient with thier shoes... It all seems so basic and easy, but each task I do in my day takes something out of me. By the time I get home, I am lucky if I don't have a migraine (which is like a spoon buster), and can think of something to cook for dinner, let alone clean, do laundry, unload the dishes, change sheets on a bunkbed, etc. It makes me feel like a bad wife. I love my job, it's very fulfilling, but it takes a lot of my spoons away from my home life. The house is a wreck, I haven't even bought pumpkins to carve (the thought of carving pumpkins is exhausting), or decorated for Halloween. I do get points for sewing Julia's costume, zipper included. That's right, I sewed a zipper. Bask in my awesomeness. Go on, bask. Ok that's done. I still need to make the bonnet, but I can bust that out during commercials. After a week of work, when I should be figuring out how to get the house clean, I am thinking of how easy I can possibly take it while sewing the finishing touches on my kid's costume. Sounds wrong, right? But kiddos, I only have a few spoons left, and I borrowed against my spoons for the past week to make life happen. So tonight, after dinner is done, I veg. Veg as much as possible.

Ok, I feel alot better.

Kitchen clean. Spaghetti made. Kitchen cleaned after dinner. Dinner made for Leighann. Kitchen cleaned. Coffee cake made. Kitchen cleaned.

The house is still a wreck, but a bit better, and cooking always makes me feel so on the ball.

I am a slacker.

I haven't been a particularly productive wife or mother these days. The house is a wreck, I'm so disorganized and I don't feel good about it.

This morning I woke up and cleaned the kitchen, and started on spaghetti sauce for tonight. My house smells delightful as a result. Otherwise, I've been slacktastic. I've been reading Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl these days and it's making me feel very bad. I have not been making the home a priority lately and I need to get going on that. Tonight while Kim is a a soccer game, I am going to get cracking.

Thought of Little Ryan today

This scripture came to my email:

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12

Word to your Father.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I have been sick for the last few days, so I was worried I would be sick for my birthday, but I woke up feeling a ton better!

Kim and the kids bought me Beatles Rockband, and I lurve it muchly. I've been jamming out all day. Renee will be over soon, and she is going to watch the kids while Kim and I go out to a DC United game. I love Renee. She rocks. I'm trying to decide if I should cut into the birthday cake now, so the kids feel like they can eat it while we are gone. I think I should.

She is slacktastic in updating her blog, but she has fabulous weekends full of fellowship!

Ok that's not really part of Proverbs 31.

My laptop is sadly on the fritz, so Kim had to repair the desktop's numerous issues so I could go on the intertubes. He did, and I am here! since I have posted last I had two wonderful weekends. On the 17th, I drove up to my older sister's house in PA so we could go to the Women of Faith conference in Philadelphia. We had a great time, and I enjoyed meeting some more of her friends. We saw Mandisa, and Steven Curtis Chapman, ANitra Renfroe, Patsy Clairmont... it was lovely. But it was great to come home. I missed my family.

What I did not miss so much, was cleaning and taking care of the house. I have been most lazy in the past week, but I've also been busy.

This past weekend I saw Fame with my friend Renee, and we both agreed the best part of the movie was when I went over to the noisy teenagers and said "You need to be quiet now." I kind of scared them because I had to pee very bad at the time, so I was perhaps a little more insistant than usual. The good news was the were quiet for the rest of the movie. We ate at the mall's food court (mmmm lamb kabob) and went shopping with some success. I found a skirt that called my name while she was in the frustrating pursuit of Pants for the Legitimately Petite™. Although I have shopping issues of my own, I do not have this pants issue, and watching her go through it was disheartening. I am also annoyed that plus sized stores and department stores do not carry more options of petite women. It makes me want to scream. Although Lord and Taylor has some ridiculously cute suits for slim petite women. Like Susan Lucci tiny.

Sunday I went to church early, then went over to Jason and Bridget's house for our Shepherd Group feast. It's our last feast as a large group before we split into three and it was a little sad. :( It was also great to catch yup with everyone, because it seemed like so long since so many of uswere in the same room. We haven't had the entire group in one room since about a year ago, and yesterdsay we were missing once couple. They were vacationing in Hawaii, the slackers. hehe

It's like a super long weekend of fellowship since we had Shepherd Group on Friday, Renee time on Saturday, Feast on Sunday, Women's Ministry tonight, and Bible Study on Tuesday. Busy, but I love it.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

I am concoting a welcome home feast for Kim. Tonight I am defrosting a turkey breast in the sink, and will make a pumpkin pie in a little bit. We'll have mashed potatoes, gravy I will make from the drippings, sauted onions, and whatever else I can whip up. Maybe corn bread and cranberry sauce. I am currently looking for crock pot recipes for the turkey breast so I can put it on in the morning before I leave for work. I will get it set up tonight and put it in the fridge then turn it on in the morning. I have found a recipe that is basically what I do in the oven, so that looks like a winner.

Update on the pie. somehow I dropped the bowl of filling into the pie shell as I was filling it. But I was watching Little Women and I said to myself "What would Marmee do?" So I cleaned it up as best I could and popped it in the oven.

So on a completely different note, I am preparing to go to the Women of Faith conference in Philadelphia with my older sister Annie (Anna to the rest of y'all). The one in DC was during our big crazy family vacation in Myrtle Beach this summer, so I noticed the closest one was in my big sister's neck of the woods and asked if she would go with me. Somehow she got roped into organizing a trip for her church, so there will be a bunch of ladies I don't know also, but I'm adaptable. I'll raise hands in front of anyone! Except when I'm driving... then I raise hand.

So I stumbled across the blog of an artist (who is, by the way RIDICULOUSLY talented) and was fascinated with how she made her list. She DREW everything out. I am very visual, so I thought I would give it a try! I may have gone a wee bit overboard, because I started to draw out which toiletries I wanted to bring. But then I realized while drawing that I had forgotten an item, so I guess that worked out well. My goal is to fit it all in a carry on sized suitcase, and my messenger bag, which has become my purse/work bag these days.

So I feel a little behind on laundry. Honestly, I did neglect it early in the week, but now it's an issue. Normally I want lots of work hours, but I'm kind of hoping I'm out of work by noon so I can come home and finish up laundry before Kim gets home. Not to mention make sure all those little drawings I did are accurate by moving the right clothes through!

The house is clean, the dishes are done, the preparations are being made!

Ruby Rating : 4/5

Ummm, I'm not sure the turkey breast is going to fit in the crock pot!